So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
