Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
