he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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