like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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