So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
