STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
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All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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