Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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