why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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