When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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