HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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