I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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