Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
