I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
