he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
