He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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