I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
