Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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