nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I party with great urgency now.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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