I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Are we still banned from the library?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
