It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
