is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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