I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
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Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
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He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.