There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101