We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug