his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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