i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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