At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Randomize
