Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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