i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
