once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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