CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
