I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just had sex bonerless
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
