who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
