Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
