A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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