Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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