I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
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Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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