It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
