well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
