Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize