I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
