I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
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Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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