We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
