I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
