My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
