What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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