I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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