I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
