I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
