You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
