Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
