i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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