I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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