that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
