i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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