I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
40s are totally the cure
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm both gender and math confused
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
