I want to make a zoo with you.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
