My nipple is on Facebook.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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