need another drink. this is the easiest way
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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