i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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